I keep blogging about Dan White, hoping some of his writing skills will rub off, but anyway, Mr. Cactus Eater shows some promise as an outdoor blogger with a list of things not to do on a backpacking trip. Highlights:
NEVER attempt to brush your teeth in total darkness. Preparation H does not fight gum recession. And it tastes fishy. NEVER camp at a suspiciously beautiful, yet strangely empty, lakeside campsite. It is probably empty for very good reasons (think “flood plain,’’ “poisoned water’’ and “spaniel-sized mosquitoes.’’) NEVER cut the handles off the toothbrush “to save pack weight.’’ Toothbrushes weigh less than an ounce – and if you try to brush your teeth with the head of a toothbrush, it will fall down your throat and lodge in your trachea, and you will die.
Once Dan discovers the boundless profit potential of outdoor blogging he’ll return to his writing career post haste, I expect.
Your “outdoor never do’s” are welcome. I would add: Never try to read a map while you’re standing in a flowing stream and about to fall into it.