I keep blogging about Dan White, hoping some of his writing skills will rub off, but anyway, Mr. Cactus Eater shows some promise as an outdoor blogger with a list of things not to do on a backpacking trip. Highlights:

  • NEVER attempt to brush your teeth in total darkness. Preparation H does not fight gum recession. And it tastes fishy.
  • NEVER camp at a suspiciously beautiful, yet strangely empty, lakeside campsite. It is probably empty for very good reasons (think “flood plain,’’ “poisoned water’’ and “spaniel-sized mosquitoes.’’)
  • NEVER cut the handles off the toothbrush “to save pack weight.’’ Toothbrushes weigh less than an ounce – and if you try to brush your teeth with the head of a toothbrush, it will fall down your throat and lodge in your trachea, and you will die.
  • Once Dan discovers the boundless profit potential of outdoor blogging he’ll return to his writing career post haste, I expect.

    Your “outdoor never do’s” are welcome. I would add: Never try to read a map while you’re standing in a flowing stream and about to fall into it.